I Can’t Remember The Last Time I Wrote A Song (Just Cuz I Wanted To)
The other day I looked back over the last year and realized something. I have been “working” to be someone who I’d like to be, an image that I’d like to see of myself, and I don’t even really know if I enjoy the things that would make me that person.
Ok, that was cryptic so let me clarify.
I like Bono.
Paul Hewson is an individual I look up to as someone who has been honest about his rock star qualities and utilized his celebrity, to the best of his ability, to actually be a force for positive change in the world rather than just make it look like he’s making a positive change for the world. I also dig his music.
I’d Like to be Bono.
I like Cornel West.
Cornel West is a Harvard graduate. A professor at Princeton University. He’s a Christian brother who discusses clearly and concisely the Holy Scriptures alongside the writings of David Hume and Karl Marx. His book “Race Matters” is one of the more insightful pieces I’ve read on the evaluation of race relations in America and how to transcend the negative tensions that still exist within our society that are attached to the idea of racial identity. Plus he’s just so cool.
I’d Like to be Cornel West. (Seeing a pattern yet?)
Ok one last example…
I Like my Parents.
Any of my artistic gifts I attribute greatly to my Dad. He was writing, producing, and performing his own music with creative ideas based off nothing other than his own musical curiosity and innovation. I have no doubt that my Dad could’ve excelled in sports, acting, or music. Furthermore, since my Dad is still extant, I still believe that. But as a young man he decided that starting and leading a loving and safe family with my Mother was what he wanted to pursue most heavily.
My Mother had near perfect grades throughout college, was gifted in the sciences, and was planning on being a physical therapist. I’m eternally grateful for my Mom staying home and raising me from day to day in the way my parents saw fit. I can’t imagine growing up without the strong support of the family my Parents created.
I’d Like to Be My Parents.
So this could go on for awhile but you get the picture.
For awhile now I’ve been trying to figure out a way to follow in the footsteps of others because I thought that was what I wanted. Then I realized…
These people aren’t who they are because they wanted to be a kind of person. They are who they are because they enjoyed doing the things that they were doing.
Bono enjoys music and has a desire for justice.
Cornel West enjoys philosophy and seeking answers to real world problems through academic discourse.
My Parents love each other and there family and have done everything to see that we experience that love.
And They All Love Jesus Christ.
In the last year I forgot what I really like to do.
And I don’t mean things like eating, or going to the beach, or generally being gluttonous.
I mean what I really love doing.
I love writing music. My music, not U2’s or Rakim’s or Lauryn Hill’s (Though I recommend checkin them out)
I love contemplation. But I don’t know if a world of academia is what I want.
I love romance. But I don’t love Love enough yet to want a family just yet. (You can think about that one)
And I love Jesus Christ. And in order to thrive I need to start taking more time to abide in Him.
So as you can see, this blog is a selfish one. Because it’s not a blog that I wrote cuz it was that time of the week. And it wasn’t a blog that I wrote because there was a serious issue that needed to be talked about. And it wasn’t a blog that I wrote cuz I needed to promote myself.
I wrote today…because I wanted to. Because I enjoyed it. Now this isn’t to say that I’m gonna drop anything and selfishly do only what I like to do. But it does mean that I’m gonna do my best not to be someone else and to start working on simply living out who I am to the fullest in my day to day. Cliche? Yeah. But there’s a reason cliche’s exist.
Joey, a wise friend of mine, shared this proverb with me, and I’d like to share it with you…
A monk told Joshu, “I have just entered the monastery. Please teach me.”
Joshu asked, “Have you eaten your rice porridge?
The monk replied, “I have eaten.”
Joshu said, “Then you had better wash your bowl.”
At that moment the monk was enlightened.
I have a sink full of dishes. They need washing.
I still haven’t written a song. But here’s something I wrote yesterday that was close…so I’ll leave you with that
Washed in fatigue but bathed …in… what?
Newness? No…more like old nostalgic nonse than news
Pouring passions on a dry beach
not my beach
Empty corn beef hashed out desires
raped of originality, no not raped,
accepting of its passe parcel
to tenderly caress the butterflies that flutter,
no matter how dusty, on the face of the water
That was pretentious wasn’t it?
Love isn’t pretentious.
Love is hard.
Love is warm.
Love is great.
Love is better than me. (I,*clear throat* Sorry)
I can miss it in I fat don’t chew want nation to hear it. (repeat 3x)
Cheese. Corn. Does food by necessity
denote the work of an amateur.
Shy, careful, secret, solace.
Lotta commas amIgettingparanoid!?
¡¡¡ JUST KISS ME ALREADY !!!
just two more things:
Subtract the N from “nation”
and if you wondered about the Adianoeta
Copyright © 2011 by George Scholes Robson V